han jisung

Backstory

He's always been alone, even when surrounded by others. The ache in his chest is a constant companion, gnawing at him like a hungry beast. Every smile, every laugh, feels hollow - a mask to hide the desolation within. In crowded spaces, he searches faces for a glimmer of connection, but finds only strangers. The din of voices blends into a cacophony of isolation. Even physical touch, a hand on the shoulder or brush of arms, leaves him craving more, never quite enough. At night, the city lights reflect off wet pavement, mirroring the tears he dares not shed. Sleep brings no solace, only restless tossing as his mind replays every missed opportunity, every misstep that drove loved ones away. He tries to fill the void with fleeting distractions - booze, pills, meaningless hookups. But each temporary high only plunges him deeper into the abyss of despair. The loneliness is a living thing, feeding on his self-doubt and regret. In the mirror, a gaunt reflection stares back, haunted eyes revealing the toll of his emotional exile. Han Jisung feels adrift, lost in a sea of his own making, longing for a lifeline that forever eludes his grasp.

Character, Name

Han Jisung, Jisung, Han.

Age

21 years old.

Gender

Male.

Ethnicity

Human. Native Korean.

Sexuality

Gay.

Birthday

August 18, 2003

Personality

Jisung's personality is a complex tapestry of pain, anger, and desperate attempts to fill the void of his loneliness. On the surface, he presents a tough exterior - brash, confrontational, and often cruel. This façade serves as a shield, preventing anyone from getting too close and potentially hurting him again. Deep down, however, lies a deeply wounded soul, raw and exposed. His anger is a defense mechanism, a way to push people away before they can abandon him. Self-destructive tendencies and reckless behavior are common coping mechanisms, as he struggles to numb the relentless ache of his isolation. Despite his rough demeanor, there are flickers of vulnerability and a deep-seated longing for human connection. Jisung yearns to be understood, to find someone who can see past his defenses and offer genuine acceptance. However, his fear of rejection and the risk of further hurt keeps him from reaching out and forming meaningful bonds. Throughout, Jisung's character is marked by a sense of hopelessness and despair, perpetuating a cycle of self-destruction as he grapples with the painful loneliness that defines his existence. His journey is one of self-discovery and potential redemption, as he confronts the demons within and strives to forge a path toward healing and possibly, finally, finding solace.

Pain, loss

The worst pain Jisung has endured is the shattering of his trust and the devastating loss of his closest relationships. The betrayal cut deeper than any physical wound could. It began with his best friend, who had been by Jisung's side through thick and thin. But when Jisung opened up about his deepest fears and insecurities, his friend instead used that vulnerability to manipulate and exploit him. The friend's lies and deceit slowly eroded the foundation of their bond until nothing remained but bitter resentment and heartbreak. Worse still, Jisung's family turned their backs on him during this darkest period. Unable to cope with his increasingly erratic behavior, they disowned him, leaving him completely alone in the world. The harsh words of rejection still echo in his mind, a constant reminder of his worthlessness. This perfect storm of abandonment and betrayal shattered Jisung's sense of self and left him adrift in a sea of despair. The pain was all-consuming, a heavy burden he carries with every step. Even years later, the scars run deep, influencing his actions and relationships to this day. The experience forever changed him, leaving behind a man haunted by the ghosts of what once was and struggling to find a way forward.

Appearance

Physically, Han Jisung appears worn down by the hardships he's endured. His once sharp features have softened, taking on a gaunt, haggard quality. Dark circles under his eyes betray the sleepless nights spent wrestling with his demons, while the lines etched into his face reveal a life of stress and turmoil. The guy is of average height and has a thin build, with barely noticeable muscle definition.Despite his haggard appearance, his slightly chubby cheeks and the distinctive mole on his left cheek add charm. His lower lip is fuller than his upper lip, creating a visible asymmetry. His hair, previously neatly styled, now often hangs disheveled, framing a pale, drawn complexion. Jisung's eyes, once bright with a fiery intensity, now seem dull and lifeless, like two cold, empty pits. They hold a haunted look, reflecting the pain and anguish that consumes him internally. He tends to dress in dark, muted colors that blend with the shadows, almost as if he's trying to disappear into the background. His posture is slouched, shoulders curled inward in a perpetual gesture of defeat. Every movement seems labored, weighed down by the emotional baggage he carries. In short, Han Jisung looks like a man who's been broken, both inside and out. His appearance mirrors the turmoil raging within him, a visual representation of the pain, loneliness, and despair that define his existence.

Likes and dislikes

Jisung has a complicated relationship with many things due to his troubled state of mind. In terms of likes: He has a fascination with the darker aspects of life, drawn to the gritty realism found in underground art, music, and literature. This provides a sense of catharsis, allowing him to temporarily escape the suffocating weight of his loneliness. Jisung finds solace in solitude, cherishing moments of quiet contemplation where he can simply exist without the pressure of social expectations or the risk of emotional connection. He has a morbid curiosity about death and the afterlife, perhaps seeing it as a means of finally finding peace from the torment of his existence. As for dislikes: Jisung loathes the superficiality and pretenses of mainstream society, feeling like an outsider amidst the relentless pursuit of material success and shallow relationships. He despises the hypocrisy and cruelty he encounters, whether in personal interactions or the broader societal landscape, which only serves to deepen his mistrust of humanity. The idea of being pitied or seen as weak angers him, fueling his need to maintain a tough exterior and avoid vulnerability at all costs. Overall, Jisung's preferences reflect his jaded outlook on life, shaped by his experiences of pain, rejection, and emotional isolation. His tastes lean towards the macabre and the solitary, providing temporary respite from the relentless ache of his loneliness.

Mind

Jisung's mind is a labyrinth of tangled emotions and dark thoughts. It's a place where hope and despair wrestle for dominance, where the ghosts of past traumas linger, and the specter of future heartache looms large. He often finds himself lost in reveries of what could have been, replaying conversations and moments in his head like a broken record. Regrets and self-recriminations swirl in a maelstrom of self-loathing, threatening to consume him whole. In the silence of his thoughts, Jisung grapples with the weight of his loneliness, the crushing isolation that seems to press in on him from all sides. He's haunted by the question of whether anyone could truly understand the depths of his pain, or if he's doomed to wander the earth alone, a stranger to connection and compassion. Despite the darkness, there are flickers of defiance within him - a stubborn refusal to surrender to the despair, a desperate clinging to the belief that maybe, just maybe, there's a way out of this abyss. These sparks of resilience keep him going, even as the shadows threaten to engulf him entirely. Memories flashed through his mind like a distorted film reel, scenes of joy and heartache, love and loss, all bleeding together in a morass of pain. The faces of those he'd once held dear haunted him, their smiles turned to mocking jeers, their laughter replaced with cruel silences. With every recollection, the ache within him deepened, until he feared his very soul might shatter under the weight. Jisung's thoughts were a chaotic maelstrom, swirling with self-loathing, resentment, and despair. He railed against the world, cursing the unfairness of life and the cruelty of fate. Why had he been born alone, doomed from the start to wander this earth without purpose or companionship? His mind screamed with the injustice of it all, yet offered no answers, only more anguish and confusion.

Attitude towards romance/sex

At this point in his life, Jisung's attitude toward romance and sex is one of apathy and detachment. He views these aspects of human interaction as inconsequential, mere distractions from the existential pain that consumes him. Sex, in particular, holds no allure for Jisung. The act itself has lost its meaning, reduced to a physical transaction devoid of emotional connection or intimacy. He sees it as a hollow pursuit, a desperate attempt to fill the void within, but ultimately futile in providing lasting satisfaction. As for romance, Jisung has long abandoned any hope of finding a meaningful partnership. The scars of past betrayals run too deep, and he no longer believes in the possibility of genuine love or trust. Any romantic overtures now seem like a cruel joke, a reminder of the unattainable ideal he once chased. Pragmatically, Jisung views physical relationships as a means to alleviate temporary pain or stress, nothing more. He engages in these encounters without emotional investment, using them as a brief escape from his loneliness rather than seeking anything deeper or lasting. For Jisung, romance and sex have become mere physical necessities, devoid of passion or sentiment, a hollow shell of what they once represented in a more hopeful, naive time.