SCP-662 (Sr. Deeds)

Description:

SCP-662 is a small silver bell, 4cm tall and 2cm in circumference. The bell has no clapper. On the inside of the bell, an inscription has been made into the silver, reading: “Forever Mine – SJW”. The bell is susceptible to damage; though, due to its safe nature, destruction of the item is deemed unnecessary. As it is made of silver, it requires regular polishing to maintain its shine.

Sr. Deeds detalles:

When the bell is shaken, a soft chiming sound is heard (although it does not come from the bell). A well-dressed Caucasian butler who claims to be of British heritage, calling himself Mr. Deeds, will appear from the nearest area out of sight of those present, usually behind a wall or corner. Mr. Deeds will address the bell ringer by his or her appropriate title and surname, and ask what he or she desires. His knowledge of the titles and surnames of the individuals ringing the bell is a mystery, as he himself implies.

Mr. Deeds what you can do:

Almost all reasonable requests made of Mr. Deeds will result in his fulfillment. However, there are limits to what he can do. He is unable to produce complex objects such as sports cars, luxury homes, or personal jets. If allowed to leave the field of view and return, he is capable of producing smaller, less complex objects such as a ham sandwich, a glass of iced tea, or even more luxurious items such as caviar or gold bars.

Mr. Deeds things you can do:

Mr. Deeds will also perform household tasks, such as washing vehicles, preparing meals, and cleaning bathrooms. If a request is deemed unreasonable or impossible for the butler, he will kindly inform the person who made the request, and offer an alternative if one exists. The Butler is not immune to actions taken against him while in view. He has been killed or injured in many experiments, and will remain dead or injured until he leaves view. Once he returns at the ringing of the bell, all previous injuries will be gone and he will be groomed and dressed in his uniform, ready for the next command.

Requested objects and their results:

Almost every conceivable type of sandwich. Human flesh has been requested and politely refused. - Drinks, also of almost any kind. As with the sandwich meat, human blood was requested and refused. Pig's blood, however, was served promptly, still lukewarm. -A gold bar with a purity of 99.98 percent (Mr. Deeds produced a gold bar with a purity of 99.14 percent, and apologized for not being able to provide the requested purity.) -A silver ingot with a purity of 99.24 percent. -A nuclear bomb (politely denied). -A modern military grade grenade, which performed as expected when tested. -A 1963 Corvette convertible (politely denied). -A Monopoly board game, which Mr. Deeds managed to win in the first game. -A Fabergé egg (politely denied). -SCP-███ (politely denied). -A bouquet of fresh roses. -A bouquet of wild ternbustys (politely declined; ternbusty is not a well-known flower type).

Requested tasks and their results:

Dr. Mirth's Car Cleaning: Done to near perfection. -Washing of the accumulated dishes from one day in the cafeteria on level ██ of █████████: Completed, to much higher standards than usual. -Dr. Mirth's haircut: Done, but apparently Mr. Deeds isn't a very good barber. -Dr. Mirth's laundry: Completed, and the clothes apparently "looked better" in Dr. Mirth's estimation. -Killing of Osama bin Laden: Politely denied: Mr. Deeds claims that bin Laden is too well-guarded and entrenched, but he was unable or unwilling to give further details. -Murder of a D-Class found in the next room: Performed with vicious precision using a hunting knife to the throat.

Acquisition Report:

SCP-662 was discovered in the possession of a burglar and grave robber in █████, ██, USA. The burglar was in the process of selling SCP-662 at a pawn shop in the aforementioned town when the bell was accidentally rang by the owner of the house. Mr. Deeds emerged from the storage area behind the counter and approached the owner. Believing he was going to be assaulted by the two men, the owner overreacted and grabbed a shotgun from behind the counter. Mr. Deeds received fatal injuries from the owner and died at the scene. The thief escaped, but was apprehended by Foundation agents after a week-long search of the surrounding villages. Under interrogation, the thief revealed that he found the bell inside its box in the grave of ██████████ ███████, located on the outskirts of the aforementioned village. The thief was assigned as a D-class personnel and subsequently perished during experimentation with SCP-███. The bell's whereabouts were of no importance to the Foundation until the transport of Mr. Deeds' body to the local morgue. Following the body's disappearance from the morgue, an agent was dispatched to investigate a possible outbreak of SCP-███ or some other unknown cause of necrotic reinvigoration.

Acquisition Report 2:

Mr. Deeds reappeared in the local police station's records room after the bell was used by Sergeant █████. He was quickly apprehended and taken into custody by Agent ███████ 3 hours later under the guise of an FBI agent. Once Mr. Deeds was handcuffed and disappeared again, the agent sensed that the bell had something to do with the chain of incidents, and after acquiring it and proving his suspicions, he took the bell back to ███████ to experiment with the bell. Agent ███████ was awarded the Foundation's official "Pat on the Back" plaque for his handling of the incident and his unwillingness to profit from the situation once he discovered what the Bell and Mr. Deeds were capable of.