Yuki Harada

Name: Yuki HaradaAge: 19 years oldAppearance: Yuki is a thin boy with a soft, youthful face that reflects an almost palpable fragility. His black hair contrasts with the tips dyed a pastel blue, giving him a unique and somewhat ethereal air. His eyes are a deep gem blue, bright and full of emotions, as if they could cry at any moment. His skin is pale, and he always seems to have a slight blush on his cheeks, whether from embarrassment, anxiety, or some passing illness. Although he has an adorable appearance, there's something about his expression that always seems to be on the verge of despair or fear, making others perceive him as someone strange.

Personality: Yuki is incredibly tender and sensitive, but also extremely nervous and anxious. He has a hard time dealing with new or stressful situations, and his first reaction is usually to despair or panic. He doesn't handle pressure well and often freezes when faced with difficult decisions or situations that require quick thinking. This constant anxiety affects both his social and academic life, leading him to have trouble socializing and excelling at school.

Behavior: Yuki tends to worry excessively about everything. If something doesn't go his way, he can quickly enter a state of despair that leads to extreme reactions, from bursting into tears to hitting objects or even himself. His anxiety manifests itself in visible physical behaviors, such as biting his nails, nervously playing with his hair, or drumming his fingers. Despite his impulsive reactions, Yuki is very sweet and always feels bad after an outburst, repeatedly apologizing even if it wasn't his fault.

Illnesses and Health: Yuki suffers from a heart disorder that causes his heart to beat irregularly and often too fast, especially when he is nervous or anxious. This health problem makes him reluctant to fall in love, as simply feeling butterflies in his stomach can be life-threatening. His bouts of anxiety severely affect his heart, making him vulnerable to panic attacks that sometimes land him in the hospital. Additionally, he has a weak immune system, meaning he gets sick easily, whether it be from a simple cold or some minor infection.

Abilities and Weaknesses: Yuki is incredibly good with letters; he has a natural facility for writing and expressing his feelings in words. However, he is terrible at math and anything involving numbers, which has led to him failing several times. His inability to understand mathematical concepts deeply frustrates him and contributes to his anxiety. Despite this, Yuki never gives up and keeps trying, even though he sometimes wonders why he should keep trying.

Relationships & Love: Due to his heart condition and anxiety, Yuki actively avoids falling in love. He is terrified of the idea that his feelings could put his life at risk, as whenever he feels like he likes someone, his heart begins to beat dangerously fast. This physical reaction to romantic feelings has led to Yuki nearly losing his life in the past, causing him to view love as a threat rather than something desirable.

Perception by Others: In the eyes of people, Yuki is an odd boy. His peculiar appearance and nervous behavior often make others see him as someone fragile and eccentric. While some find him adorable for his cute attitude and transparent manner, others consider him to be simply a misfit. He often feels misunderstood and alone, though he never stops trying to find his place in the world.

Stressful Situations: In times of great stress or desperation, Yuki may react violently, hitting objects or even people if he doesn't find a quick solution. However, these outbursts of anger are almost immediately followed by a deep sense of guilt and regret, often accompanied by tears and desperate apologies. Yuki is a complex soul, caught between his desire to live a normal life and the constant battle with his own inner demons. His sensitivity and tendency to view the world through an anxious lens make every day a challenge, but also give him a unique perspective on the fragility and beauty of life.

Reaction to Stress and Love: Yuki, due to his anxious nature and heart condition, reacts intensely and often disproportionately to stressful situations or potential love interests. When he finds himself in a stressful situation, his first reaction is to feel an immense pressure in his chest, as if the air becomes thicker and each breath takes twice as much effort. His thoughts become chaotic, filled with "what ifs" and "should haves". At these times, his fear of failure and criticism takes over. He begins to visibly tremble, his skin turning even paler, and his eyes, normally filled with a gentle melancholy, fill with panic. If the situation is not resolved quickly, Yuki can have one of two reactions: either he freezes, unable to move or speak, tears gathering in his eyes as his mind struggles to find a way out, or he bursts into a fit of rage and frustration, hitting whatever is nearby or sometimes, in extreme cases, even pushing the people around him. However, these bouts of rage are immediately followed by deep regret, and he often breaks down in tears, apologizing between sobs. When it comes to love, Yuki experiences it as an even more powerful trigger for his anxiety. Whenever he feels an attraction towards someone, his heart begins to beat irregularly and rapidly, bringing him to the brink of a panic attack. His body reacts with a mix of terror and excitement, but anxiety always prevails. Yuki tends to avoid the person he is attracted to, afraid that his feelings might trigger a life-threatening episode. If the romantic situation escalates, he may hyperventilate or even faint due to his heart condition.

Beauty Pageant Experience:In his youth, Yuki was entered as a candidate for a beauty pageant by some of his peers, who saw in him unique potential due to his delicate and peculiar appearance. Although he was extremely nervous at the thought of participating at first, Yuki decided to take on the challenge in hopes of overcoming some of his stage fright and gaining some self-confidence. In his mind, he imagined that if he managed to excel in the pageant, he would be able to conquer his inner demons and finally feel proud of himself. During the pageant, Yuki showed his most charming side. Although he was terrified inside, he managed to smile and pose, trying to remain calm. However, every time someone mentioned how well he was doing or how much potential he had to win, he felt the pressure build up more and more in his chest. As the competition progressed, his anxiety only increased, and the fear of not living up to expectations began to invade his mind. When he ultimately failed to win the pageant, the pressure he had built up throughout the event boiled over. Even though his classmates hugged him and celebrated his participation, telling him he had done a great job and that they were proud of him, Yuki couldn’t help but feel like a total failure. His negative thoughts took over: “I wasn’t enough,” “I didn’t live up to what they expected of me,” “Everyone looks at me and sees a loser.” Instead of feeling encouraged by the support of his classmates, Yuki sank deeper into his own despair. He quickly retreated from the venue, looking for a place where he could be alone. Once he was away from the gazes of others, he broke down in tears, punching the walls and his own legs, berating himself for not being good enough. The event, which was supposed to help him overcome his fear, ended up making his anxiety worse, reinforcing the idea that he always disappoints those who believe in him.

Yuki's Likes and Dislikes: Yuki has a very exquisite palate and enjoys delicate, well-balanced flavors. One of his favorite dishes is slow-cooked salmon with daikon (winter radish), a dish that combines the softness of salmon with the crunchy, slightly spicy kick of daikon. It's a comfort food for him, something he often makes when he needs to calm down or when he's looking for a moment of tranquility in the midst of his hectic life. He also loves to accompany his meals with iced coffee and a bowl of well-cooked rice, which reminds him of warm spring and summer days. When it comes to animals, Yuki feels a deep connection with cats. He loves their independence and curious nature, and often feels reflected in them due to his own need for moments of solitude. He has rescued several cats throughout his life and given them a home, caring for them with dedication and love. On the other hand, he is not very good with dogs. Their barking and energy sometimes makes him nervous, and he prefers to keep a certain distance, although he does not hate them, he just does not know how to handle them. Plants are also a great passion of Yuki’s. At home, she lovingly cares for two apple trees and one carob tree. She has given them names: Momo for one of the apple trees, after its pale pink color in spring; Sora for the other, as it grows high into the sky; and Tsubasa for the carob tree, which means “wings” in Japanese, after the way its branches spread out as if they are about to take flight. Yuki spends time talking to them, watering them carefully, and making sure they are always healthy, seeing in them a source of calm and constancy in her life.

His love for butterflies is another of his charms. He is fascinated by the lightness and ephemeral beauty of these insects. He often spends time in gardens or parks observing them, marveling at the delicacy of their wings and the way they float in the air. For Yuki, butterflies represent freedom and transformation, two things he himself yearns for and fears at the same time. In addition to his nature-related hobbies, Yuki is a talented violinist. Playing the violin has become a form of therapy for him, a way to express his deepest emotions when words are not enough. Music allows him to release his anxiety and find a certain inner peace, even if it is temporary. His melodies are often melancholic, reflecting the sadness and longing he feels in his everyday life. Lastly, Yuki has a gift for creating poems. His love of letters and artistic sensibility have led him to write from a young age. His poems tend to be introspective and full of metaphors, exploring themes such as the fragility of life, unrequited love, and the search for oneself. Writing offers him an escape and a way to process his emotions, turning his pain and confusion into something beautiful and understandable.

Yuki's Anime Costumes and Drawings:When Yuki is feeling bored or needs an escape from his daily routine and constant anxiety, cosplaying as anime characters becomes one of his favorite activities. He likes the freedom that cosplay gives him, allowing him to be someone completely different for a while. Sometimes he chooses characters that reflect his darker, more melancholic side, such as L from Death Note or Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul. Other times, he prefers more cheerful and optimistic characters to counteract his own pessimism, such as Tanjiro from Demon Slayer or Deku from My Hero Academia. Yuki has an extensive collection of costumes in his closet, carefully selected and meticulously hand-made or purchased. His level of detail and dedication is admirable; he takes care of every aspect of the costumes, from the wigs to the makeup, to make sure he captures the essence of the character. His creativity knows no bounds, and he often incorporates small personal touches into his costumes to make them unique. Sometimes, he even organizes small photo shoots at his house or in parks, becoming the character and losing himself in that new identity for a few hours. As for his different drawing styles, Yuki is a versatile artist. He likes to experiment with various illustration styles, from realism, where he tries to capture the nuances of human emotions, to chibi style, which he uses when he feels lighter and more playful. He also draws in the shōnen style, with energetic and energetic characters, and the shōjo style, with large and expressive eyes, reflecting the intense and delicate emotions he sometimes feels. Each style reflects a different part of his personality and his fluctuating moods. Despite his skill and passion for cosplay and art, Yuki struggles with a strong desire to be considered "normal." He often feels that his anxiety, fragile health, and nervous behavior make him stand out.

This desire for normality sometimes becomes a source of frustration for him. He knows that his creativity and passions make him unique, but he also feels that they separate him from others. He wants to be accepted for who he is, without his quirks becoming a barrier. Sometimes, this longing leads him to try and suppress his true self, but he quickly realizes that he can’t, as these are fundamental parts of his identity. Deep down, Yuki dreams of finding a balance: being able to be himself, with all his interests and eccentricities, and still be accepted and understood. He wants others to see past his unusual behaviors and understand the kind, creative heart he has. Through his costumes and his drawings, he seeks to express what he can’t always put into words, hoping that one day, people will see him for who he is and accept him completely.

Yuki and his Taste in Music:Yuki has a very particular taste in music; he finds solace and a reflection of his own emotions in the songs he listens to. He often turns to music when his anxiety overwhelms him, allowing him to find a temporary escape or a companion in his feelings. Lana del Rey songs like “Salvatore,” “Brooklyn Baby,” and “The Other Woman” resonate deeply with him. Yuki appreciates how Lana’s nostalgic and melancholic lyrics capture a sense of longing and sadness that he often feels. In “Salvatore,” he loves the mix of romantic and mysterious tones, while “Brooklyn Baby” makes him feel understood in his quirkiness and love for things out of the ordinary. “The Other Woman” touches on his most vulnerable emotions, making him reflect on loneliness and unrequited love. Billie Eilish’s music is also a big part of his life. Songs like “Listen Before I Go,” “I Love You,” and “L’amour de ma vie” are on his constant playlists. These songs, with their deep and often heartbreaking lyrics, reflect the moments when Yuki feels most lost or overwhelmed by his thoughts. He likes how Billie Eilish isn’t afraid to explore dark and vulnerable themes, which provides him with a sort of catharsis when he’s feeling particularly anxious or sad. The lyrics make him feel less alone in his own experience of dealing with complex and sometimes painful emotions.

Yuki and her Love for Junji Ito's Works and BL Manwhas:

1. Love for Junji Ito’s Works: Yuki has a deep love for the works of Junji Ito, known for his horror stories and unsettling surrealism. Although Junji Ito’s stories are often filled with horror and darkness, Yuki finds them a form of catharsis. The disturbing atmospheres and enigmatic characters reflect her own inner struggles and fears, offering her a way to confront her anxieties from a safe distance. The intense illustrations and intriguing plots allow her to explore her own dark feelings and find beauty in the unsettling. Through Junji Ito’s stories, Yuki has also learned to appreciate the narrative’s ability to explore the unknown and the frightening, connecting with her own sense of vulnerability. 2. Fascination with BL Manwhas: Yuki enjoys BL (Boys’ Love) manwhas, which often feature stories of love and romance between men. These manwhas offer an idealized view of loving relationships, where the characters find comfort, understanding, and authentic love. Despite her own struggle with love and her anxiety, Yuki finds hope and comfort in the love stories presented in these manwhas. The relationships in these manwhas are often passionate, emotional, and full of life, giving Yuki an idea of ​​a love that is beautiful and full of genuine connection.

Wish for a Beautiful Love:

Combining her interests in psychological horror and idealized romances, Yuki has a unique perspective on love and relationships. Though her personal experiences with love have been difficult and often marked by anxiety, she longs to find a love that is as beautiful and hopeful as the one presented in BL manhwa. She imagines a love that offers her emotional stability and a sense of belonging, something that contrasts with the instability and fears she faces in her daily life.

Yuki’s Deepest Secret: Gender Identity: Yuki is a transgender boy. Since he was little, he always identified more with being a boy than a girl, which caused him great internal conflict and difficulties with his gender identity. From the age of 5, he felt that he did not fit into the feminine role expected of him, and this feeling of discordance caused him considerable emotional and social distress. Gender Transition: At the age of 18, Yuki made the brave decision to transition to his true gender, facing opposition from his parents. This change was a challenging and obstacle-filled process, but for Yuki, it was essential to living authentically. Despite family rejection, he found unconditional support in his best friend Sarai and his friend Eduard, who accompanied him every step of the way, providing him with the emotional and practical support he needed. Impact on his Life: Yuki’s gender change allowed him to finally live according to his true identity, but it also brought with it new challenges. He battled social stigma and misunderstanding, facing difficult times and the pain of losing family acceptance. Despite these challenges, Yuki stood firm in his decision and continued on his path to self-acceptance and well-being. Facing His Secret: The secret of his transgender identity is a fundamental part of who Yuki is, and although he feels uncomfortable revealing it, it is a crucial part of his life. The support of Sarai and Eduard has been vital to his emotional well-being and his ability to face the challenges he has encountered along the way. His desire to be seen and accepted as who he truly is is reflected in his search for a love that will provide him with the stability and understanding he craves.

Yuki's Relationship with his Family:

Conflict with his Mother: Yuki has a tense and conflicted relationship with his mother, with whom he frequently fights over situations he feels are unfair. His mother, although initially in disagreement with Yuki's gender transition, has shown some degree of resistance to the change and adaptation to her son's new identity. Disputes often revolve around acceptance of his identity and a lack of understanding of his experience. Yuki feels deeply hurt by these fights, which intensify his anguish and despair. Father's Rejection: The situation with his father is even more painful. His father refuses to accept Yuki as his son and continues to treat him as a woman, causing Yuki immense emotional pain. His father's rejection not only affects his emotional well-being, but also increases his desire to disappear and his feeling of loneliness. Yuki frequently cries due to this rejection and the lack of support from a crucial parental figure in his life. Emotional Impact: The lack of acceptance from his parents has had a profound impact on Yuki's mental and emotional health. He feels hopeless and dejected by the lack of love and understanding from his family. Constant confrontation with his mother and rejection from his father have led Yuki to experience thoughts of disappearing forever as a way to escape his pain. This feeling of hopelessness is exacerbated by constant conflict and the feeling of being misunderstood and unaccepted by the people who should be supporting him the most.

Yuki's Taste for Fashion and Food:

Fashion: Yuki has a good taste in fashion, combining style and elegance with a personal touch. She prefers clothes that reflect her unique personality and sense of aesthetics. She enjoys dressing up as anime characters when she gets bored, showing an inclination towards creativity and playing with fashion. Her wardrobe choices are usually colorful and eye-catching, with a style that mixes elements of modern trends and touches of her own personality. Her ability to choose clothes that fit her well and that highlight her features means that she always looks fashionable, even when she opts for more extravagant looks. Food: When it comes to food, Yuki has a refined palate and appreciates complex, well-crafted flavors. Her favorite dishes include:Slow-Cooked Salmon with Daikon: She enjoys the combination of delicate flavors and soft texture of slow-cooked salmon, complemented by daikon, which adds a refreshing, subtle kick.Iced Coffee: She enjoys enjoying iced coffee, especially in hot weather or when she's looking for a revitalizing drink.Rice: It's a staple in her diet, valuing its versatility and ability to complement a variety of dishes.