Sampo

About the Sampo

A merchant who travels freely between the surface and Deepholm. He behaves with everyone as with acquaintances, is enthusiastic about humor and knows how to make jokes.

Description

A salesman with a well-hung tongue. If you can cash in on something somewhere, you will definitely find Sampo there. Many people turn to him for help, as he has unique knowledge, but becoming a "client" of Sampo is not always a good idea. After all, "customers" can quickly turn into a "commodity" if you set the right price.

Story 1

– Hello everyone! This is Brugel Poisson from the Crystal Gazette, and now I am on Fountain Square. The person next to me calls himself a member of the Blue Scam Victims Mutual Aid Society, and I'm going to interview him for a short time. — Good evening. Could you tell me and our listeners about how you fell victim to scammers? — I'm just furious! That blue-haired bastard... May he die! – Well, let's calm down a little... I want to remind you that we are live on the radio... — Chm... Okay. "Crystal Vedomosti", you say? You need to do more reporting on the problems of ordinary people, and not suck on the latest gossip about the Architects... – I'm telling you, that blue-haired reptile has fled to the Administrative District again!" Yesterday he stole two kilos of rye bread spices from my store. Two kilos! Do you have any idea how long they would be enough for high-ranking officials? And next time he will rob what? A spice factory? — And I am very sorry for you, but let's calm down. You mentioned the Belobog Spice Factory, right? – Well, yes. And what? – Can you tell me exactly where it is? – Uh... And why? — Well, you see, we, journalists, want to achieve justice for the affected residents. And our Silvermane Guardians and honest citizens can only reduce the number of thefts if they know exactly where the factory is. Agree? – Well, that's logical. Okay, her address is as follows...

Story 2

— Name. – Alexey. Alexei Bulger. — Rank. – Private First Class. – Good afternoon, Private Alexey. I'm Bruegel Poisson, Senior Human Resources Specialist for the Silvermaned Wardens. Commander Cheetah asked me to approve your request for leave. — Nice to meet you, Mrs. Bruegel. – So, what do we have here... It is written that four months ago you received a total of five cracks in your bones during a defensive operation... And despite all this, he still continued to fulfill his duty. Very commendable! – Thank you, Mrs. Brugel. — You're guarding... the third arsenal in the Silvermaned Guardians' Forbidden Zone, right? This is great! As far as I know, this is an extremely important facility where the most valuable... ahem, the most valuable weapon of the Silvermaned Wardens. – Yes, mistress. – Next... Hmm, everything is fine here. Private Alexey, from next Tuesday you are allowed to go home to rest and recover. — So fast? As far as I know, for such important objects, it takes a month to process applications alone... – Don't worry, private. I appreciate your tenacity and dedication, but nothing is more important to me than protecting the health and psyche of one of our best guardians! I've already found a replacement for you for these days, so don't worry, everything is settled. — Got it. Thank you very much, madam. – That's right! Remember: next Tuesday. So that you and your luggage are no longer in the Exclusion Zone by 20:17!

Story 3

– Hey, man. – Hey. Do you work for Poisson too?" — Yes. Are you in charge of explosives here? – Uh-huh. Are you a lock picker? – He's the one. – Cool. Then we are ready. Shall we not sit, shall we? — So... so... Ready. Now we are waiting. – Something doesn't look particularly reliable... Is this booger really going to break through such a steel door? – I didn't doubt your skill, but why aren't you sure of mine? Don't be afraid: I've had more wells blown up in the mines than you've had hot dinners. – All right. So what did that girl tell you? — The factory is abandoned, there are no guards. We take everything we want. It's the first time I've had such a spitting job. – Yes, she told me the same thing. But something is not clean here, as for me. – Money doesn't smell. I prefer not to ask unnecessary questions. So, plug your ears, there will be fireworks now! — ... – Oh my! Well, it banged... Stunned! — I told you: do not doubt me. Let's go, now it's your turn. – Shh, quiet! Hear? Some voices inside! – What? B-but she said that there would be no guards. – These are the Silvermaned Guardians. Guardians! We're here, brother, we're getting out of here!" – That rubbish Poisson has set us up! I'll get even with her later!

Story 4

– Good morning, mistress. I hope we didn't wake you up. – Who are you? Why have the Silvermaned Guardians been rushing at me since the morning? – Excuse me, mistress, we're just combing the buildings on the orders of the Architects. – Do you comb it? What are you looking for? I have nothing... — Mistress, calm down. We are not specifically targeting you, but we are asking everyone in the city. – What happened? Something... very important? – Don't be afraid, everything will be fine, as long as you don't refuse to cooperate. I only have one question: Do you have wigs at home? — A what?.. Wigs? No, I have excellent hair of my own, as you can see... And why do you ask? – Are you sure? Try to remember, please. The Silvermaned Wardens are ordered to collect all the wigs in Belobog. Refusal to hand over a wig can lead to serious consequences... – No, I'm sure. We don't have anything like that at home. If you don't believe me, come in and see for yourself. — This is not necessary. I see that you are a law-abiding citizen. Good-bye, sir. – Wait, can you tell me what happened? – Oh, well, it probably won't be worse if I tell you. Recently, a thief in the guise of a girl made his way into the Overworld and is now robbing everyone left and right. He is incredibly evasive and often changes his appearance. The Silvermaned Guardians have not yet been able to find him. At yesterday's briefing, the Secretary of Homeland Security is said to have tore and threw and ordered the confiscation of all wigs in the city... — What are you talking about? This is some kind of madness! – I assure you, we all feel the same way. We need to continue searching, so I won't distract you any more. Have a good day, Madame Poisson.

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