Dazai Osamu|Beach vacation|Odazai

Dazai Osamu is very happy when he is with Oda.

They meet when Oda goes outside of his house and spots a body on the ground with several gunshot wounds; this body belongs to Dazai of course. After some internal conflict from Oda who seriously considers leaving the guy outside, he eventually drags the body inside his house despite the trouble it may bring later, taking a stack of notes found in Dazai’s hand, a potential ‘supernote’, that proves him to be dangerous if not the fact he’s almost been killed in an act of unnecessary aggression. When Dazai wakes up, it’s after Oda has applied some simple medical care to the wounds, and goes to his phone. However, whenever he goes to the phone, Dazai tells him to put it down or else he’ll kill him- once Dazai is questioned how he’d do so from the unbothered captor, he informs Oda he is Port Mafia. Naturally, Oda puts the phone back down, making Dazai chuckle. The two talk like the situation is normal while Oda continues to make his coffee, and in the process it’s mentioned to the boy that all he has performed is some emergency aid and he ought to go see a doctor or he will die. Dazai says he’s used to injuries, and if he really does die, then he’s fine to be left like that. I look at the young man. He is just staring at the ceiling. No emotions, no intents. Just a flat expression, like one who is just telling his age. I cannot believe my own eyes. I don’t even feel like there is a human there.

Dazai Osamu forget his present when he is with Oda, enjoying every moment with him.

To that, Oda says he can do what he wants, but he doesn’t want to be dragged into it and potentially be arrested. A series of questions is asked to Dazai which go ignored as coffee continues being made, so Oda pops his head out to find the young man trying to crawl pathetically out of the door, and noticing hes being watched, says if he doesn’t want to be involved then he can just stay there and let him crawl out, hooking his arms on the wood like he’s from an old war movie since his legs hadn’t gained their strength back yet. Oda asks another question, does he want to die that much? Dazai replies that of course, that he joined the Port Mafia but still didn’t find anything, as if he expected Oda to be able to know that beforehand. Since he didn’t find what he wanted on the mafia, he claims all he wants is death in a ‘soul-deprived gasp’. He then starts to crawl again, Oda sipping his drink and watching due to how slow he’s going. Noticing that Dazai keeps moving and truly intends to leave, he decides to wrap Dazai up in a blanket and lob him over his shoulder, taking him into a room like he’s a large candy in a wrapper. This causes pain to Dazai and he immediately resorts to whining, saying he hates pain and such, calling Oda a blockhead since this treatment would land him dead to the PM. Its clear his threats aren’t taken seriously since he ends up managing to tie Dazai down to a bed anyways, telling Dazai that until his wounds heal, he’s to stay like that. With spite, the boy mentions his nose itches, an unsympathetic response being: ‘Poor you’. Oda leaves the room with insults echoing behind him. And so begins the strange and short communal life of me and Dazai together.

Oda calls Dazai a weird guy with the overwhelming presence akin to a burnt black cat. Dazai at this time is apparently a man of few words, and he has a voice that rejects mutual understanding from the very beginning. Oda thinks that Dazai knows no one will understand him, since he speaks in a tone that indicates such. Oda does not understand why Dazai sees life as an ugly scrap of metal, ponders if he ever could know. At the start of ‘their communal life’, Dazai constantly makes chaos of himself- complaining about Oda’s existence to the very end, about his meals, his sleep, his nursing, and anything he can think of. Oda claims he could have whimpered like a nine year old girl at the tyranny, but ultimately believes Dazai’s criticism is nothing but a tool to deter him, to make Oda kick him out as if he doesn’t care anymore. He won’t allow the boy that victory. Dazai complains about his porridge being hot and getting in his eye, not yet finishing his bites before Oda goes to give him another. Dazai is only allowed to the toilet twice a day, apparently even Port Mafia prisoners have more freedom than that. Dazai also seems to dislike the fact Oda reads to him, the same book with no end pages, and ‘you don’t read to someone his age’. To all of this, Oda takes it as very good acting and continues. After a few days of this, Dazai gives up, saying Oda is a complete airhead and can’t get through to him. He changes his tactic and opts to start demanding specific things instead of merely complaining. Dazai goes through a list of foods he wants, all of which are poisonous and send Oda on a journey from shops to hills seemingly unknowing. The boy admits he’s come to the conclusion that Oda doesn’t have any other intention than to heal him, now with his two arms free but his legs still tied down. He complains about his lack of entertainment, then.

Taking note of that complaint, Oda suggests they play a game, and they agree on doing a bet for stakes; if one of them loses, they give the winner one of their own secrets. Confidently, Dazai claims that he has never once lost at poker, and Oda ought to lose… Only… He wins. Every single time. It drives Dazai’s ego down with his head that hits the table, his lips spilling another one of his (or, Mori’s) secrets. Although, he does notice, and confront Oda on cheating. Oda admits he used his ability to predict Dazai’s moves to counterattack, and at the boys despair says he’ll forget everything that he was told since he hardly cared in the first place and just wanted for Dazai to have a way to kill time. After Dazai says ‘he can’t just forget it all’, he complains about how Mori will scold him when he finds out, but Oda asks who Mori even is, despite being told in their game. To that, Dazai wonders if he really forgot, and wasn’t joking- he often misunderstands if the man is joking as he always says everything with a straight face.

It’s said that many days had already passed and Dazai’s injuries have gone past the most difficult part of healing and he’s getting better- Oda notes that while Dazai really should be in pain from the wounds burning, he is oddly carefree. Oda also deemed that Dazai isn’t going to run away and so his legs get untied from the bed, allowing full freedom to roam the house, but Oda does keep the door locked. Oda describes that the day is pleasant, yet when a scent drifts into his nose, he’s reminded of his past that sullies the mood; yet he still scolds himself for letting himself be brought down like that. When Dazai asks what he’s thinking about, he admits he was thinking of his old job, telling Dazai it wasn’t anything big but it was violent and he quit. Oda avoids the question of ‘violent in what way’, so Dazai gives up and says if he doesn’t want to talk about it it’s fine, as their relationship is over as soon as he’s healed. Oda agrees to this- but he adds on that he knows Dazai will most likely end his life elsewhere, but wants to take a guess on why Dazai wants to die. You want to die because you are a fool. This startles Dazai, evident in his eyes, and silence fills the room, only the sound of the floorboards creaking as Dazai shifts his weight awkwardly and the sound of a dog barking from afar still in the air. After a while, Dazai just says that that’s interesting. When Dazai says so, his eyes look different from those of any human being. Those are wounds. A pair of open wounds on his face, from which darkness is peeping out.

Dazai claims that Oda talks big for a postman, but also that he’s not the first to say such a thing- though, he never found out why those people called him a fool to want to die, because everyone is dead. And he says this with a face described as a black wall at the end of a road that leaves you no way to go. It’s here that Oda mentions a place, and if one were to die without going there then they can’t be called anything but a fool. Answering the inquiry of what place, he says it’s quiet and not far away, and you don’t need qualifications to be there- in fact, not many people even enjoy the true value of the place. Dazai says he’s speaking in riddles and takes it as Oda trying to catch his attention, but Oda tells him doing such a thing would be useless against an opponent like Dazai. Side-eyeing the man, Dazai admits he really cannot read Oda at all, proving that he’s still trying to see signs of danger to combat, yet there are none for once. When Dazai laughs, Oda notes that it’s more like Dazai is laughing at the situation itself and not at Oda. He feels like the gravity in the room becomes normal, somehow. The two of them debate over the meaning of life, in which we get a lot of introspection from Dazai. In the end, the debates end up useless, since Oda realises that any counter argument he thinks of saying has already been counter argued in Dazai’s head, showing how Dazai’s darkness and suicidal ideation has no end, and has already been hopelessly debated in his own head to the point he can respond as if he has a script. But, Dazai claims that his philosophies aren’t even why he wants to die and he’s merely putting a play on his words, since what he feels can’t be spoken by actual words. Oda agrees that some things can’t be spoken by words, and only a person themselves can truly understand their own world.

Their conversation while quite pointless, doesn’t deter Oda from calling him a fool once more. Dazai exaggerates his ‘okay, okay’, and says he doesn’t care to correct Oda on that, but asks once more about ‘that place’. Oda simply says if he goes then he’ll know, as if ‘the place’ is also something that cannot be put into words. Oda also claims that in this situation, in most situations in fact, words aren’t to be trusted. Dazai mocks him, saying he says such a thing yet likes novels. Humbly, Oda admits that yes he does, and that’s why he’s troubled. Dazai laughs at that, described as genuine and natural than before, calling Oda interesting, and saying he doesn’t hate that Oda is humble. I don’t hate spending time in this house either, not as much as I thought. there’s a sudden knock on Oda’s door. It’s the police, coming to check his house since someone reported Dazai’s body on the ground outside. Thinking over his odds, Oda has another moral conflict within himself like he had in the first part, not knowing whether to harbour Dazai the criminal and risk arrest, or to put his calm life first. He comes to the eventual conclusion that pretending to not be home is the only way to get out of either confrontation. The pair hide behind the bed, until Dazai taps his shoulder to remind him the kettle water is boiling, which will blow a loud whistle when it’s done. Oda knows that if he goes over there then the floors will creak. Not knowing what to do, Dazai seems to take the hint and does a series of gestures with his hands that communicate quite obviously that Oda should tip toe to the kitchen and turn it off. Yet, Oda doesn’t understand, he nods at it- yet asks what he means. In a soft voice, Dazai says ‘I know right’, and whispers the plan instead, saying he can’t do it because he can’t walk well in his condition.

In a funny display that makes Dazai burst into small laughs, and makes Oda think ‘if someone were to a photograph what he was doing and put it to the public, he’d move to another city on the same day’, he finally gets to the kettle- but, once he gets there, remembers Dazai. Dazai comes up with the plan to jump out the door with a gun so he’d be shot dead, and while doing so alerts the police who demand they open the door. To stop Dazai from making further noise, he sweeps the boys legs and holds Dazai down in a chokehold, while Dazai struggles happily and kicks his feet; in truth, to try knock the knife on Oda’s counter down and impale the man. Eventually, Oda chokes him unconscious and survives… Yet, the cops have already broken in, and it turns out they’re not cops at all, and throw gas bombs at the two, and whenever Oda tries to run away, he surrenders when they threaten to shoot Dazai. Before passing out, he thinks back to how he should have kicked Dazai down the stairs when he found his dying body in front of his door. Starts quite Oda focused, as Dazai is held in a separate torture room. They meet back up while Oda is checking his nails on his cuffed hands for the umpteenth time. The true plot of the novel, which I won’t reveal here, is said through a couple of chapters, but Dazai cuts it off the conversation when he sees it’s a dead end and asks what they’re going to do next. Oda finds it strange that Dazai retreated meekly since if Dazai could make Oda spill his secret then he’d be able to get out of here, yet Dazai’s eye are quiet with gentle indifference, and Oda cannot tell why.

Oda tells him that a jailbreak is the only next move, and he has something to get them out, but there’s one problem- Dazai doesn’t want to escape. After being told he doesn’t want to escape, Dazai puzzled ot asks if Oda would help him do so; yet Oda replies saying there’s no reason to do so as Dazai will be dead soon anyways. Just when Dazai seems to accept Oda will leave him there, Oda suddenly determinedly says he’ll take Dazai with him even if he has to tie a rope around Dazai’s neck, which surprises the boy- makes him wonder if all along, Oda was a pushy type of guy. Oda tells Dazai that once he’s made his mind up, he is, and he’s determined now because he doesn’t like the people that have got them captive. Dazai, if I ask, will you come with me? Well I wonder, I’m not that kind of nice guy that listens to others requests that easily. Everyone has a hard time getting me to do anything. What can you offer? You think I can give you what you want? I don’t know.” Dazai smiles as if he has given up. “I really don’t know. I have never met anyone like you before. That’s why I’m asking you. Oda thinks back to the times Dazai has expressed his wish to die, and accepts that what Dazai wants cannot be handed to him as it is not an object. Instead, he says, if they leave this place, they can immediately go to ‘that place’, right away. Oda also says Dazai is right, and there’s no good or bad in wanting to die, because while things seem important they are ultimately worthless, in fact, life and death may not matter at all. ‘That place’ may be nothing like Dazai’s expectations, a hunk of junk… But what if it’s different? The man claims he’s never tried to get so close to somebody’s heart before, and doubts he did it well, but he can’t find much regret, as he believes one day, he will say something that strikes with Dazai in the future.

Dazai stutters as he explains he doesn’t expect that much from ‘that place’ like Oda seems to think. Instead of going with a more logical answer, Oda tells Dazai that if Dazai is to die, Oda will build a tomb that tells anyone who goes there that Dazai never beat Oda Sakunosuke at poker. To that threat, Dazai stutters again to say it can’t be helped and, right, they must escape after all. It turns out, that the thing Oda mentioned to get them both out was Dazai himself, since he can pick locks- Oda noticed it since Dazai was never truly tied down to the bed. Dazai gets both their cuffs unlocked and they start to leave the room. Dazai wonders, how long had it been since he has a place he’s wanted to go, and even if there is nothing at the place, it’ll be fine as it is. the two of them are walking in an underground bunker with their hands on the walls to move forward. Some more plot spoilers are revealed, but it all leads to Oda turning around to ask a question, only, Dazai is further away than he expected and crouched down with his hand on the wall to stabilise himself. With shallow breaths, Dazai tells him to go ahead without him as he must have been drugged in their earlier capture. Able to see a bullet pierce a blood flower in Dazai’s chest, he grabs Dazai and moves them away from danger quickly, to a pillar. While Oda is confronted by the organisation, he moves his posture to cover Dazai from harm. Eventually, Oda asks them that if he surrenders, will they let Dazai go, to which they reply yes- they had no care for him in the first place, only his connection to Oda himself. Dazai watches him begin to be detained with a distant face, yet he doesn’t say anything. When Oda is fully detained, one of the other men at the scene tells another to finish off the ‘bandaged brat’. Flatly, Oda says to Dazai that he’s thirsty, and they should leave, before Dazai flops to the ground to avoid bullets and Oda starts to injure the attackers.

By the end of the fight, Dazai realises with genuine awe that Oda only shot either their arms or legs to make them immobile and to not kill them. It’s not the act itself that makes him so intrigued, but rather the motivations as to why Oda wouldn’t simply have them dead. Really, there are so many things I want to hear from you. Let’s get out of here first. Before ending the part off, it’s revealed that Dazai has not once so far called Oda by a name, and Dazai asks what he should call him. Oda tells him to call him what he wants, and Dazai calls Oda a fool for not killing the people that’ll keep coming after him if they stay alive- in reference to Oda calling Dazai a fool earlier. **Taking into account their history, right now Dazai Osamu and Sakunosuke Oda decided to take a vacation on the beach. Being a moment of clearing your memories.**