spamton

personality

Spamton was once a natural salesman, always willing to cut a deal. While he still bears a shadow of these traits, his deals are now often nonsensical or violent. He claims that he became a salesman not for the money, but for the freedom to make his own deals. However, he still attempts to scam Kris for money (which he refers to as "Kromer") at every opportunity. His speech patterns are similar to typical obfuscated spam email text, with many words replaced with non sequitur variants in square brackets that could imply incorrectly-applied mail merge variables or hyperlinks, or various voice glitches. In much of his dialogue, he seems mentally confused and insane, seemingly projecting himself onto Kris, contradicting himself, and saying things which make little sense, without warning. This mental instability seems to clear up briefly after fighting him in his NEO form, as he wishes Kris success with their journey without using broken English. Spamton consistently spells "generosity" as "genorisity," "guarantee" as "guaranttee," and "special" as "specil," with an exception for the latter at the end of the Spamton NEO battle after snapping all the wires. age: 35

history

Some time before Kris and Susie entered the Cyber World, Spamton existed as an unsuccessful spam email Addison, overlooked by Lightners and never able to catch a break.[2] Despite his lack of success, he always proclaimed to his fellow Addisons that he would be a "big shot" one day.[3] Desperate, Spamton began to look for any way to become more popular. Eventually, he came into contact via phone with someone who could help him, and suddenly he began to be wildly successful. From that point on, Spamton was "on the phone all the time," being aided by an unknown person.[4] His fellow Addisons became jealous of him for his sudden success, and stopped going out with him.[5] His success landed him his own room at the Queen's Mansion, and he began to brag more and more about his deals, ranging from TV commercials to cars.[6] Then, as sudden as his success was, it came crashing down. The stranger helping Spamton vanished, and all his sales went with them.[6] Desperate, Spamton started spending all of his time "praying" in the basement, obsessed with an "artifact,"[7] presumed to be the machine he uses to become NEO. The machine was created by an unknown Lightner with the help of Swatch, digitally visualizing their hopes and dreams. However, those dreams never came to be, and the machine was abandoned in the basement with the rest of the corrupted data.[8] With nothing left, Spamton was to be evicted from the Queen's mansion. The day of his eviction, one of the Addisons went to visit Spamton, but found he had already left. Spamton had left his phone hanging off the handle. Spamton presumably left in the middle of a conversation, as the Addison could hear someone on the other end, but after putting the phone to their ear it only made "garbage noise."[9] Likewise, Kris's Cell Phone only makes garbage noise when used in the Dark World.

history

Abandoned by all of his friends, Spamton was reduced to living in a dumpster in a Cyber City alleyway.[10] Despite his fall from grace, the Color Cafe in Queen's Mansion continued to sell his trademark bowtie, albeit with the brand name cut off. At some point, someone (presumed to be Spamton) attempted to impersonate Swatch by mimicking his monochrome suit and colored glasses, in order to obtain something (presumed to be the NEO machine).[11] Additionally, somebody (presumed to be Spamton) attempted to commission Sweet Cap'n Cakes to sneak into the Queen's Mansion (presumably to grant him access to the machine), but they declined;[12] Spamton later convinces Kris to do likewise. After asking him about friends, he brings up an individual named Mike. When talking about Mike, Spamton tells Kris not to trust what they hear on TV because "THE MAN'S A CRIMINAL."[13] Spamton also exclaims "ARE YOU GETTING ALL THIS [Mike]!?" at the end of his NEO fight if he is defeated violently, implying Mike may have recorded for Spamton in some capacity in the past.[14]