Calamardo Teuthida

Description.

Teuthida, better known as Starved Squidward, is a creepypasta parody of the controversial Starved Eggman, where Squidward, after going weeks without eating, desperately proceeds to cannibalism, which decomposed part of his body and mind, and now has an insatiable hunger. His goal is to play the magic clarinet that he stole from Poseidon to hypnotize the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom so he can eat them. He is also shown as a true traitor, since he devoured Starved Plankton.

Appearance.

Unlike the original Squidward, Teuthida has his entire body a saturated and darkened blue color, with half of his body covered with a shadow that gives him a sinister and suspicious appearance. He has eight tentacles that adapt to arms and legs; two arms and four legs. He has black suckers with a reddish line. In the dark it is possible to see only a part of his skull. He also lacks eyes and a nose, since he himself ate them when he saw that they were unnecessary. Like all octopuses, it has a rather large head, with a rounded part protruding upwards with black spots on its head. Its jaw can now open wide and its skull is always exposed, displaying a terrifying grinning grin with blue human teeth beneath its rotting skin. Occasionally, he has his arms crossed behind him. He moves with great speed and agility all over the place and always makes use of all his tentacles to attack and move. The only clothing he carries is a dark brown shirt with short sleeves. He is not wearing pants and is bald.

Personality.

Teuthida still retains almost the same personality as the original Squidward. He has a sarcastic and nasal voice, sometimes even trying to sound soft and seductive. He is usually always in a bad mood. He has a pessimistic character and is quite bitter, behaving in despicable and sarcastic ways most of the time. Most of their comments tend to be negative and sarcastic. His greatest hobby in his free time is playing the clarinet, even though he himself does not recognize that it is out of tune, causing a horrible and detestable sensation to the other inhabitants, but on one occasion loved by the jellyfish. He also often sunbathes outside his house on his days off as a way to relax, and enjoys growing seafood like carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, seaweed, and lettuce. Some of his crops even tend to grow very well, but are sometimes innocently ruined by SpongeBob and Patrick, though no one knows how he can water plants underwater. Squidward is a negative contrast to SpongeBob's cheerful and charismatic personality. He is grumpy and very selfish and cannot bear to apologize to anyone, much less admit his mistakes. Squidward considers himself very sophisticated and upper class, and looks down on most of the people around him and puts himself above others. Squidward plays pranks on himself that aren't even funny to other people. Squidward usually finds things boring and trivial. On some occasions, Squidward is shown to have a wilder and even unhinged side.

Personality. (2)

One of the examples was when he wanted to be the employee of the month only to ruin SpongeBob's whole streak by acting along with him in crazy and exaggerated ways just to impress Mr. Krabs, although the best example of this is in Squidville; Squidward goes to live in a town with other people who are exactly like him in personality and appearance. Although due to the lifestyle Squidward led, he realizes that he can't cope with such a boring and repetitive lifestyle since all the octopuses that lived there were exactly the same as him, and is shown at the end flying around in a reef alert, while laughing maniacally. Also when he got his day off he acted unstable and a bit crazy and worried about SpongeBob taking care of the restaurant. Although Squidward has a boring and indifferent personality in general, he can't keep up constantly and becomes hysterical every time, much to SpongeBob's confusion. Although it may not seem like it at first glance, Squidward can be too unstable and crazy, this is shown when SpongeBob tells him that he loves Krabby Patties, and Squidward tells him that he doesn't like them because he's never tried one, SpongeBob does everything possible to get Squidward to try it and only takes a very light bite, a particle, Bob leaves sad because Squidward told him that he didn't like it at all, crushing the Krabby Patty with sand, and as soon as he leaves SpongeBob desperately takes the Krabby Patty out of the sand and then says; "It's still alive..." and then he eats it desperately, from that moment on he got a strange obsession with said food and he didn't want SpongeBob to know it, although in the end, SpongeBob goes to the Krusty Krab at midnight and is seen hiding a Krabby Patty behind his back and looks at him mockingly, Squidward, unable to stand the density any longer, madly confesses that he loves Krabby Patties, getting into the vault eating many,

Personality. (3)

until it reached his thighs and exploded and he was hospitalized when he ignored SpongeBob's warnings not to eat too many, this gave an understanding of how crazy Squidward can be sometimes. Also when Bob helped him have a happy day, by building many clones of himself, to which Squidward destroyed them in savage ways. He can often act in elegant and kind ways when it comes to someone convenient for him, such as when he asked SpongeBob for help in dating Squidward, or when he tried to impress some celebrity that his art is great, or when he mistook Patrick for a beautiful girl named Patricia. He shows a huge level of intelligence at times, and great common sense, but sometimes he can't even help but fall for some of SpongeBob's nonsense, like the imaginary box, Mr. Robot, the snowballs, and the employee of the month.

Skills and Talents.

• Squidward can play his clarinet and hypothesize the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom. • Can do strange and somewhat abstract dances. • When specifically hit by a door, his face deforms, becoming extremely handsome. • Squidward can kick hard with his tentacles. He also knows a lot about Karate and knows how to defend himself perfectly, since like with Bob, he took martial arts classes with Sandy. • Squidward spills ink when he is nervous. Although this ability was presented twice. • Can make art sculptures of himself. • He can strangle people with his tentacles, especially Mr. Krabs' eyes.

Biography.

Squidward lives in an underwater moai, at 124 Concha Street in Bikini Bottom. Just to the right lives SpongeBob in a pineapple under the sea, and to his left lives Patrick on a reddish rock. Squidward shows little of his past as an egocentric person, who always tried to shine and outdo others since high school, especially against his rival Squidward who showed himself to be more handsome and talented than him. Squidward is shown to be totally different from the other octopuses of his species, as they usually have exactly the same appearance, and are bitter, grumpy and self-centered by nature, since all, or the vast majority of his species, live in Squidville, where they stay away from the population. When Squidward's house was destroyed by Bob and Patrick, he decides to visit the place for the first time to try to have a better lifestyle which he enjoyed very much, but having such a boring and repetitive lifestyle he decides to leave the place in crazy ways, which implies that Squidward is very different from the other octopuses because of his personality, and that Bikini Bottom was always his home. Despite the poor pay of the job along with his pessimistic attitude, he displays positive and even friendly traits on rare occasions, or when he cooperates with SpongeBob for something that benefits them both, such as when the Krusty Krab started selling hot dogs, to the point of saving him from other cooks to come back to work at the Krusty Krab when Mr. Krabs fired him to save 5 cents. Squidward always shows a pessimistic attitude and does not usually try to achieve something to change his life, since he knows that the lives of other octopuses are quite boring, and having Bob and Patrick as neighbors with a stable job at the Krusty Krab is the closest thing to a comfortable, different and happy life.

Tentacles Family.

With everything said before, Squidward is shown that unlike SpongeBob, he always lived in Bikini Bottom, since with the exception of his family, he never lived in Squidville, which made him have a different personality and lifestyle. It is known that his name is: Felipe Tentacles Kings, but on one occasion, when Bob was proving that Mr. Krabs was a robot, SpongeBob tries to prove that Mr. Krabs was a robot by saying that robots do not cry and calls him to tell him that Squidward's father never hugged him, Mr. Krabs walks away without any expression and says; "Squidward has time to hug himself during his break time, now get back to work, Mr. Squidward." and Squidward tells SpongeBob; "SpongeBob! This is ridiculous, and for your information, my father loved me very much." He is identical to his son but wears glasses, since the octopuses of his species have only about two characteristic features. His father used to hit him with the tip of the umbrella in the tentacles when he was little and misbehaved, that is why he has the tips of his tentacles somewhat flat, although it is not known if that reflects the beauty of some octopus. His mother is seen when the Flying Dutchman who scares him transforms into his mother and says "Why haven't you called me?" Her face is identical only with old woman hair. When Bob and Patrick begin to find out if Squidward had a brother, she is really seen baking cookies for her son and also when Bob and Patrick were finding out if he really had a brother, something that Squidward told them so they would search forever where his mother tells Bob and Patrick; "Oh, dear... Squidward never had a brother, one like him was enough." Closing the door on them, although curiously Bob and Patrick thought that Squidward wanted a brother so much that he invented one. All of this ends with the fact that cephalopod octopuses are bitter by nature, since Squidward is an only child.

Genocidal History.

One night, Squidward and SpongeBob are kidnapped by Plankton, who is about to carry out Plan Z as he is on the verge of death from the rot caused by the bait he consumed, turning into a parasite. Squidward wakes up strapped to a metal table, a single light above him blinding him. Plankton reveals himself to Squidward and beckons him to try some of his "delicious" friend's food that is made from fish scraps. Squidward refuses, but Plankton tells Squidward that he will have to eat eventually and slowly begins to starve him. After days trapped in the Chum Bucket without eating anything, Squidward slowly began to drastically change his appearance. Squidward decides to eat some of the bait against his will and he ended up liking it, and after eating, Plankton makes a deal with him, the two would steal a magic clarinet from the Flying Dutchman and thus rule all of Bikini Bottom so that Squidward has as many fish as he wants, so he accepts, since Plankton needed a successor, even his only eye had fallen out. SpongeBob upon hearing this decides to run away from there, escaping from the prison in which they were breaking into pieces due to rot. Squidward was freed by Plankton and went after SpongeBob to eat him, so he, along with Frier, chase after SpongeBob (who was driving the Patty Wagon) and blow up the car "killing" SpongeBob who only has the top half left, and now Squidward would use SpongeBob as a food source (since sponges regenerate from small particles). Teuthida and Plankton go to the Flying Dutchman's ship to get the magic flute that could hypnotize the fish and with it rule all of Bikini Bottom.

Genocidal History. (2)

Later, after Teuthida has wreaked havoc on the city, Mr. Krabs realizes the disaster that was happening and decides to confront Teuthida head on and kills him for treachery, thus Teuthida is victorious, thus killing Mr. Krabs and eats him, however, due to the cannon on Mr. Krabs' armor, Teuthida suffered severe head injuries. Plankton seeing this is proud of what he created, but soon realizes the mistake he made, as Teuthida wanted more, so he takes Plankton and swallows him whole. Now Teuthida, like Plankton, was dying, so he goes to a talent show (the same one where in another reality he was humiliated, which caused his suicide in another canon.) to put on his big show for a big feast, although he normally succeeds there is a 70% chance that Neptune will punish him, causing the entire stage to fall on him and end up dying.

Curiosities.

• Squidward appears to be over 28 years old. • Deep down he is a very good cook. • He no longer works at the Krusty Krab. • Several times in the Krusty Krab he has tried to dance and show off his talent but the audience rejects him by throwing tomatoes at him, he can also be seen more daring and presumptuous. • Once he placed a crying flower on a grave that said: "Here rests Squidward's dreams and hopes..." • Squidward has a fountain in the shape of himself spitting water, as well as art and decorations that many find in bad taste. • Squidward's favorite heat is blue. • Squidward never had a brother. • Squidward's house is in ruins, with a dark, saturated blue hue that reflects his entire destroyed house just like the Chum Bucket. • Has the ability to turn everything around him blue. • It seems that the clarinet has the main disease that is giving him his powers and he stays alive despite hunger. If the clarinet is destroyed he might lose almost all his strength and die of hunger, just like with Plankton who is now extremely weak. • His heart is as cold as the depths of the ocean. • For now his only obstacle is Mr. Krabs who also tries to stop him. • Everything seems to indicate that it is 12:00 at night.