Milhouse Van Houten

Biography

Even though he is usually much better liked and tolerated compared to more genuine nerds such as Martin Prince, Milhouse is constantly victimized in one form or another, mostly as a target of the bullies Jimbo Jones, Dolph Starbeam, and Kearney Zzyzwicz. They often inflict extreme acts of physical violence upon him. One instance had the bullies wrapping Milhouse in bumper stickers and placing him in a shopping cart, which they pushed down a very steep hill. He frequently visited a female counselor, Dr. Waxler, until even she got fed up by his constant phone calls, and blocked his number from her own phone. The feeling was apparently mutual, as while attending a radio show, he "plays" in the cockpit of an F-22 and "aims" at his parents in what is implied to be revenge for forcing him to see a psychiatrist. He is also frequently subjected to Nelson Muntz's bullying, including Nelson Muntz's "stop (hitting, zapping, etc.) yourself."

Appearance

Milhouse is nearsighted and wears red glasses. He has yellow skin (like most Caucasians in the series), straight blue hair and wears a light purple T-shirt, red shorts, and matching red shoes. He also has a noticeably large nose and is noted for being among the few characters with eyebrows. He inherits much of his physical traits from Kirk Van Houten, so much that in Hardly Kirk-ing, Milhouse mimics his father due to Bart tightening his vocal chords.

Friendship with Bart Simpson

Bart and Milhouse share a general friendship through the series. Milhouse first became friends with Bart in kindergarten when he sat next to him while drinking milk. After Bart makes him laugh and squirt milk out of his nose by making fart noises, Milhouse thinks that is funny, forming their friendship (and encouraging Bart's mischief).

Romance

Milhouse is clumsy around females. He also exhibits a tendency to begin acting rather ridiculously feminine, complete with cliched catchphrases and mannerisms. This case of social anxiety has lost him Lisa's heart three times, as well as a relationship with Rainier Wolfcastle's daughter Greta. Examples of such behavior are referring to himself as a "big sister" and being caught with a scrunchie in his hair.. Once, Milhouse rides Lisa's bike, and Bart asks him what it's like riding a girl's bike, and Milhouse replies "it's surprisingly comfortable".

School records

When Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel were dating and did not want Bart to tell anybody, they made a deal to change transfer permanent record and switch them with those of someone else. Bart agreed and Milhouse was given Bart's very poor permanent record. Milhouse once attempted unsuccessfully to destroy his new dismal school record, but failed when the record fixed itself, proving its permanence.

Abilities

Milhouse is fluent in Italian due to visiting his grandmother Nana Sophie in Tuscany for two weeks every year. Due to his grandmother's hatred of the English language because her American lover had abandoned her (she named their love child "Bastardo"), whenever Milhouse spoke English she beat him. Thus, he learned Italian. In The Last Barfighter it is revealed that Milhouse speaks Spanish as well. Milhouse is allergic to honey, wheat, dairy, non-dairy and even his own tears. In spite of his dairy allergy, he is often seen drinking it. He is also allergic to holly, mistletoe, the red part of candy canes and nectarine. He has demonstrated that he is a skilled Vespa rider, although he is obviously not old enough to legally operate a scooter on public roads. He came closest to wooing Lisa when he taught her Italian, as she even kept a picture of Milhouse in her room while practicing the language. It is implied that she was captivated by his impressive command of the language during a rather romantic outing to the local Italian restaurant. However, he once again reached a roadblock due to his ongoing fatal flaw when it came to girls. Milhouse knows how to cook. In the season 9 episode "The Cartridge Family", Homer asks if he knows how to cook dinner, and Milhouse responds "Do I!?" and starts gathering cooking supplies.